Drop a Stone
by Smoke
Summary: [Temporarily stalled and Marked for Destruction].[Rough] “Janos was supposed to die by the hands of the Sarafan and Raziel was going to avenge his death, but you’ve single-handedly changed the course of history,” Kain said to the girl.
1. One

Disclaimer: I don't own Legacy of Kain or any other identifiable pop culture references.

_Just to let everyone know, this is a rough version of a story that's fighting me. This time I am going to beg for reviews because I need the help. Good reviews, bad ones, ones that chide me for not thinking about the obvious… they're all good. All that I ask is that no one say "d00d, your story sux0rs." Tell me what sucks._

_The reward for all this? I intend to improve the story as I go along. That, and if I can actually manage to finish this one, you'll get to see where I was going with it._

Raziel sharpened his claws on the stone of his perch. He wondered why he was sitting on these ruins in the middle of this stinking swamp. He had the unsettling feeling that he was supposed to be doing something else.

Going to Janos hadn't been much help. Some mysterious girl had suddenly appeared in the Aerie just as Janos was about to explain Raziel's role in Nosgoth's destiny. Then the Sarafan had shown up with Moebius' staff. Raziel had tried to fight them off, but it had been difficult to battle six armored warriors with only his claws. When Raziel managed to knock the helmet off the lead Sarafan, he had frozen in shock at seeing his mortal self. The battle had ended quickly, with the wraith as the loser.

Raziel stood and cracked his back. He was dimly aware that Janos had been standing on the edge of his balcony when the Sarafan burst in, and sometime during the battle he had disappeared. Raziel wondered if perhaps Janos had been knocked over the edge. If that was the case, then hopefully Janos had survived.

Raziel reached up to crack his neck, but stopped. There was something else nagging at his senses. He noticed movement in the trees that lined the impassable cliffs that rose above the frozen swamp. Raziel watched something moved slowly towards him.

Raziel was a little bit surprised to find that he had been watching Kain. Usually, the master vampire was much harder to detect. Raziel noticed that Kain was carrying something wrapped in his red cloak.

Kain stared at Raziel for a moment, and then seemed to reach out to him with one taloned hand. Raziel yelped in surprise as he was telekinetically yanked through the air to land in the snow at Kain's feet. Raziel hastily stood up and prepared to lunge at Kain.

"I don't want to fight you, Raziel," Kain said.

Raziel could swear that Kain was worried about something. He glanced at the bundle in Kain's arms. It was the girl that had appeared in Janos' retreat. Her short blonde hair was now dirty and matted, and her icy blue eyes were closed. She looked even smaller in comparison to Kain's muscles than she had in Janos' retreat.

"Who is she?" Raziel asked.

Kain frowned at his sleeping charge. "I intend to find out."

"Something must have sparked your interest," Raziel pointed out.

"This girl has single-handedly disrupted the flow of history. I need to see what damage she has caused, and if necessary, use her to correct it," Kain growled.

"I suppose then that you no longer need me," Raziel sniffed.

"Your role has not changed," Kain said. "Follow me to Vorador if you can't figure out what to do next."

As Kain turned to walk away, Raziel was shocked to see the Reaver in its usual place on Kain's back. Raziel had grown so accustomed to the distortion that he usually felt in the blade's presence that he hadn't noticed it was there. He was now chilled by the absence of that familiar sensation.

"Where did you find that?" Raziel asked.

"The Reaver was in Janos' possession, but the Sarafan took it to their stronghold, along with the girl," Kain said. "I suggest that you keep your distance, Raziel."

Raziel thought it odd that Kain would say such a thing. It was true that Raziel was no longer loyal to Kain, but it hadn't occurred to him to try and take the sword without it being offered. Raziel realized that Kain's words were not a threat, but a warning.

"What's going on, Kain?" Raziel asked.

"I doubt that you would trust my answers," Kain said as he jogged along. Though there was truth to what Kain said, he was also concerned that he would need Raziel's ignorance of what this sword would do to him.

Raziel followed Kain into Vorador's mansion. The opulent building was just as impressive as Kain had described in his boasted tales. Raziel had to admit to himself that it was strange to be at Kain's side again. He willingness for a truce came from recognizing that this was bigger than either of them could imagine.

"Get out of my way!" Kain shouted.

Some of Vorador's brides had tried to defend the mansion against the intruders. At the sound of Kain's voice, they hastily retreated back into the shadows.

Within moments, Kain and Raziel burst into Vorador's dining room. Raziel was relieved to see that Janos had made it here as well.

"Who are you?" Vorador demanded.

"My name is Kain, and this is my first born, Raziel," Kain said. He readjusted his hold on the girl. "Have someone trustworthy tend to this girl, it is important that she survive."

Vorador's ears twitched in recognition of the voice. "I see that you retrieved the Reaver as promised, but why did you tell me that my sire had been captured?"

"Would you have attacked the circle otherwise?" Kain asked as he handed the girl to a human servant. "I hate the deception, but it was necessary."

"Both of you have jeopardized everything with this act," Janos spat. He stood and approached Kain. Janos had the unsettling feeling that he and Kain were somehow connected. The winged vampire put these feelings aside and said, "Those pillars are more important than vengeance on their guardians, no matter what actions they take."

"Don't lecture me," Kain said angrily. "Their deaths were necessary.

"Who are you to judge that?" Janos demanded.

"I believe that my coming was also foretold," Kain said, letting the anger drain from his voice. "I am the Scion of Balance."

"Then there isn't much time," Janos said.

"Things have changed," Kain said. "There is time enough to find the correct course of action."

"Kain, the Reaver was meant for Raziel," Janos said. "Give it to him."

"I already have," Kain said. "Raziel, show him."

As Raziel summoned his wraith blade, both Janos and Vorador recoiled in alarm.

"How is this possible?" Janos asked in wonder.

"I'm afraid that further explanations could cause more damage," Kain said, his voice dripping with importance. "Be careful what you tell them, Raziel. For now, I must try to figure out what went wrong."


	2. Two

Disclaimer: I don't own Legacy of Kain or any other identifiable pop culture references.

Kain cautiously stepped into the darkened room. The mysterious girl was curled into a tight ball on the couch. She seemed so small and childlike, but Kain knew that she must be a few years older than she appeared. His mind flashed back to when he had found her unconscious in the Sarafan dungeon. She had been naked and chained to the wall. Bloody and smeared lash marks criss-crossed her back, and a milky trail down her thigh spoke of a deeper torture.

Now the girl had been cleaned up and dressed in an oversized shift. Her startlingly blue eyes were red-rimmed from crying, and she stared vacantly into space.

Kain stood in front of the girl. She silently looked in Kain's direction, but her eyes did not focus. Kain knew that he would have to be gentle with this one if he wanted any chance of receiving the answers he sought.

"What is your name?" Kain quietly purred. He didn't actually care about her name, but he thought that it might be a useful way to start.

"Sarah," the girl croaked. She shifted her gaze to stare straight in front of her again, but this time her eyes were focused so that she could see Kain's movements.

"Sarah," Kain repeated, letting a trace of warmth creep into his voice. "I am Kain, and I do not intend to hurt you."

Sarah shuddered a little bit. Kain sensed that the girl would not speak unless prompted, so he began to gently question her. "Why did you tell Janos that Raziel would kill him?"

"Because he did."

Kain marshaled all the self-control he had. He couldn't risk his usual forceful methods; he might lose whatever information the girl could provide him with. "Do not speak in riddles. You've prevented things that were destined to happen. How did you do it?"

Sarah shook her head and huddled more tightly around herself. "I don't belong here," she quietly whined. "I want to go home."

Kain considered the girl for a moment. It was clear that she believed what she was saying. If it was true that she did come from someplace else, she might not be bound to fate. Kain suddenly realized that if the prime mover hadn't even considered her presence, then this girl might have more choice than even Raziel.

"Where do you come from?" Kain asked, still keeping his voice low. He sat in the chair opposite Sarah.

Sarah trembled a little. After a moment, she began to speak hesitantly. "I came from a world known as Earth. There are people and cities, and vampires are only a legend. Your life is a story, made up to amuse some people."

Sarah stopped, unsure of how Kain would react. Kain was careful to keep his pose relaxed, even though it was unnatural for him. He languidly extended his claw, indicating that Sarah should continue.

Bolstered by Kain's calm interest, Sarah continued. Her voice did not quaver as much, but she still hesitated between sentences. "I know how it was supposed to turn out. Janos was supposed to die, and then Raziel was going to kill…" Sarah gritted her teeth and broke down crying. "This isn't supposed to be real."

Kain waited for the hysterical girl to calm down. After a moment, he slowly stood up and laid a gentle talon on the back of her shoulder. Sarah's head snapped up. There was something angry and primal behind her eyes. It was only there for a moment, to be replaced by the dull hopelessness that had been there before.

Kain had drawn back his hand the moment that Sarah had moved. Now he stepped away and asked, "How did you get here?"

"I don't know," Sarah moaned. "If this was a dream, I would have woken long ago, or gone someplace else." A choking sob wracked her body. Sarah calmed again and said with cold certainty, "Those lashes hurt; they still do. This is isn't a dream."

Kain nodded. "This is real, and you are going to help me."

"But I'm…"

Kain silenced the girl with a stern glare. "You're able to redirect the flow of destiny. You will help me."

Sarah cringed. This time, Kain's voice had conveyed his intolerance for any argument, as well as numerous unnamed threats if Sarah refused to cooperate.


	3. Three

**A/N: **This ain't no ordinary human. Sarah is a LOK fanatic, one of those weird ones who can't stop thinking about it. (Actually, that seems to be the majority of LOK fans, so it can't exactly be weird.) As she said herself, she's not supposed to be here, and that makes all the difference in the world.

As for self-insert, shudder, I'm not sure I would want to be in Sarah's shoes. Not just because of what's she's been through, but because of her underlying flaws. (I know, she's in shock right now, but she'll calm down eventually.) She's a female because I couldn't figure out how to put her personality on a guy, not that I can think of how to put any original personality on a guy...

**Anyway, thank you to ****RockyShoreline,****Varyssa, ****Istari, ****Kyrial, ****Lunatic Pandora1****, anonymous the second, and ****Northstar1982****; for the criticisms, the encouragements, and everything in between.** This story smells like cheese and needs a good shredding.

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"I screwed up again." Sarah said as she buried her face in the sleeves of her chemise. 

"Your actions may yet prove useful," Kain said. "If not, then there is still time to correct your mistakes. Indeed, my memories have not changed."

"But they were so angry, and Raz…" Sarah began to choke with new tears.

Kain listened to the girl's heaving sobs for a moment. Finally, it made complete sense. The Sarafan Raziel had been the one who violated her body. Kain realized that his task would be more difficult than he thought. If this girl truly knew how this drama played out, then she would be more likely to steer the vampire Raziel towards his dreadful fate.

"I suggest you get some sleep," Kain said to the girl as he walked out the door.

Kain walked down the paneled hallway, his hoofs making no sound in the thick carpeting. He stopped outside the dining room and overheard Raziel's voice.

"No, I don't trust him, not completely," Raziel said. "However, I know that he wants to see Nosgoth restored."

Kain strode into the dining room. "Indeed, but first I must speak with you in private, Raziel."

Raziel hesitantly followed Kain into the hallway. "What's this about?"

"We're not out of danger yet, Raziel," Kain said. "Indeed, that girl may yet spell your doom."

"Then why not destroy her?" Raziel asked. "It's not like you to be sympathetic towards anyone, much less a human."

"She is too powerful a tool to simply throw her away," Kain said. "I imagine that she would be willing to help us if it weren't for the actions of your mortal form."

Raziel turned towards Kain. "What exactly are you trying to say?"

"You raped her," Kain said bluntly. "She seems very upset about that."

Raziel stiffened in disgust. "So much for my noble heritage."

Kain snorted non-committaly. "As it is, I do not think that we can trust her knowledge without more information."

"You can go," Raziel said. "I for one am tired of searching."

Suddenly, one of Vorador's brides came running through the hallway. "Let me pass, there is an army at the gate."

A moment later, Vorador burst out of his dining room, having overheard the outburst. Janos followed a moment later. Everyone rushed to the windows to see if the claim was true.

Indeed, there were no less than forty Sarafan warriors standing outside of Vorador's courtyard.

Kain smiled in expectation. "This is going to be good."

"I do not share your enthusiasm, Kain." Raziel said in contempt.

"There was a time when you would have loved this," Kain told Raziel.

Raziel indicated the assembled mass of troops. "If you are so eager, then go ahead."

"Even I could not take on that many humans alone," Kain said as he roughly shoved Raziel off the courtyard wall.

Raziel felled a few of the soldiers with his wraith blade before its excitement forced him to appropriate a Sarafan sword. He had to admit, it did feel a bit like old times: He and Kain watching each other's back while slicing through the forces of humanity. There was just something missing.

Raziel suddenly felt a cold sense of foreboding well up in his chest. There was a reason why the blade was rumored to be possessed. Raziel could not hear the Reaver's scream. He turned slightly and saw a few souls hovering around Kain's head. Raziel wondered why the Reaver had not taken them.

Raziel threw his borrowed weapon into the ground and summoned the wraith blade again. It greedily consumed the souls of Raziel's foes. Raziel pulled some of the fruits of Kain's labor and returned to using the Sarafan blade. Raziel felt that he now knew the meaning of Kain's warning.

After Raziel finished off those that were close to him, he noticed that Janos and Vorador had also joined the battle. Those two were in no immediate danger, as most of the Sarafan had already fallen. Raziel again pitched his borrowed blade into the mud and summoned the wraith blade.

"You know why the Reaver was destroyed when you tried to strike me down, don't you?" Raziel asked Kain.

Kain sighed as he sheathed the Reaver. "Yes, Raziel, I knew all along."

"And yet you didn't warn me?" Raziel demanded.

Kain did not answer. He instead teleported back into Vorador's mansion. Raziel would not be put off so easily. He ran through the dark hallways, not quite able to catch up with Kain's pale form… until the master vampire stopped outside of one of the doors.

"There was going to be a moment of convergence. I was counting on that moment because that's the only way that I would be able to dislodge you from your false destiny," Kain said. "That's why I'm willing to keep Sarah alive. She was able to change your destiny without the paradox."

"You knew about the Reaver, yet you told me nothing," Raziel yelled. "You expect me to trust you?"

"That goes beyond my wildest hopes," Kain said wearily. He beckoned to Raziel and entered the room where Sarah was resting.

The girl in question was huddled on the bed, buried in a mass of blankets. The only thing that was visible were her eyes; two bright sparks of sapphire that stared at Raziel hatefully.

"You said that you know how our drama ends," Kain said to the girl. "Tell me what you know."

"You and I are now in great danger. We are irritants here," Sarah said distantly. "History will not allow the introduction of a paradox. If events cannot be reshuffled to accommodate the change, it is the irritant that is expelled."

Kain recognized his own words from his conversation with Raziel nearly seven centuries into the future. "I'll be the judge of what is too dangerous. Right now, doing nothing may cause great harm." Kain forced his voice to soften again. "All you need to do is provide me with answers."

Sarah had grown cold and unemotional. "I have them all if you have the questions."

Kain sneered at the quote. Moebius had said the same thing while posing as an oracle. Kain knew better than to trust everything he was told, though he was beginning to worry that the frail girl would only tell him things that he already knew.

"Tell me something new," Kain insisted.

"So, you prevented Raziel's soul from entering the Reaver. Do you believe for a moment that by this you have averted your fate? Or his? Or that of Nosgoth itself? Your manipulations are pathetic." Sarah said.

"It was your actions that derailed Raziel's destiny," Kain said.

"You know what fate awaits you when you leave the underworld. That phantom weapon you bear is a constant reminder, isn't it? The Sword is waiting for you out there somewhere, and you tarry so as not to meet it," Sarah quoted.

Kain did not recognize what Sarah was saying, but he could sense that it was someone else's words. Kain thought a moment about the meaning behind them.

"Raziel, I think that you should leave," Kain said. "She was willing to talk to me before. Now it seems that she is only repeating what she's heard."

Raziel stared at those eyes that glared from the shelter of blankets. Part of him had mistrusted Kain's news of his previous deeds. Now he saw that this girl indeed hated him, though her anger could not match Raziel's loathing of Kain.

Instead of leaving, Raziel summoned his wraith blade. "This weapon, my own soul, is deranged from its long imprisonment. Tell me how to avoid my fate."

"As you are undying, your soul cannot be returned to the Wheel- but it may console you to abide here in eternity with me." Sarah said. She blinked as fat tears fell from her eyes. "Death would be a release next to this travesty."

"I am no longer interested in death," Raziel said.

"I saved you from the Reaver once. I have no intention of imprisoning you within the blade." Sarah said distantly.

"Does this mean that you will help us?" Kain asked Sarah.

"You may ponder the futility of your actions as you spend a deathless eternity under a mountain of rubble." Sarah said, huddling in the blankets until she could barely peer over the edge of them.

"I still haven't given up," Kain whispered to Raziel as they both left the room.


	4. Four

_I don't own LOK or any of the characters. Sarah is mine, but since she has a tendency to quote, I don't own half of her dialogue. Authors notes are at the bottom._

Raziel, Janos, and Vorador all sat around the dining room table. Kain had decided to look for his answers elsewhere. Vorador had his servants bring goblets of blood for his guests. Raziel carefully pushed his goblet away.

"Is my hospitality not up to your standards?" Vorador asked.

"I don't need blood," Raziel said simply.

Janos stared at Raziel curiously, but instead asked, "When you were fighting those Sarafan, why did you take up one of their weapons?"

Raziel flexed the talons on his right hand, feeling the quiescent energies of the Reaver. Raziel suppressed a shudder as he was reminded of the sword's newly discovered secret. "It is ravenous and willful," Raziel began, "a parasite. I have to limit my use of it, or else it'll be in control."

Janos watched Raziel's claws for a moment before saying. "I do not understand how this could have happened. The Reaver was supposed to sustain you; it wasn't supposed to have a mind of its own."

"It did sustain me once," Raziel said, remembering. He shook himself out of his reverie and said, "That doesn't matter now. Tell me, what do you expect me to do?"

Janos sighed and considered Raziel for a long moment. "When the pillars were raised, we anticipated that our enemy would try to enter this world once again. With the pillars under human guardianship, it is only a matter of time until they find a way to break through." Janos folded his talons. "One of them would rise above the rest, the destroyer. You will have to face it."

Something nagged at Raziel's mind; a piece of the puzzle that wouldn't quite fit. "What is Kain's role in this?"

"He will return the pillars to vampiric guardianship," Janos said.

Raziel was glad that his features were hard to read. He knew that there was almost nothing left of the pillars in his time. What hope was there of returning those ruined stumps to their former glory? How could Kain return the pillars to the vampires when new guardians couldn't be born until he died?

Janos broke into Raziel's thoughts. "Perhaps it was necessary for most of the circle to die. We passed our bloodline on to the human successors of our fallen guardians until they rebelled. The current guardians would not have accepted the dark gift."

Raziel realized that he didn't know what guardians besides Moebius had survived. If Vorador had killed Ariel's predecessor, then that death at least would have been necessary. "I think so," Raziel muttered. "If you'll excuse me."

Raziel wandered through Vorador's hallways, his mind filled with disordered clues to his destiny. Could it be that the prophecies were wrong? Janos certainly did not expect Raziel to become a part of the Reaver.

Raziel wandered into Vorador's pantry. He surveyed the whimpering humans chained to the wall and decided that he should feed before he became too weak and slipped into the spectral realm. Raziel chose the one that was closest to him, a middle-aged man with pasty features.

The man's voice was hoarse from begging for help. Raziel pulled his tabard down slightly and began siphoning off the man's soul. The man's cries ceased.

There was a time when Raziel would have loved to hunt the pretty ones, especially as they became harder to find. Now, there was no point in choosing his prey; he could not taste anymore, just feel the energy. Raziel did, however, have an emotional preference to consuming human souls more than any of the numerous spectral creatures.

Raziel felt the man weakening, his soul threatening to tear away from his body. Raziel broke his hold on the man and readjusted his scarf. There was no reason to completely kill him, though Raziel reflected that there also was no reason to spare him, either. Humans were plentiful in this time, and it seemed that Vorador was not in the habit of keeping them as blood slaves. When he bled his stock, he bled them dry.

Suddenly, Raziel heard a rustle behind him. He turned to see Janos standing in the doorway. The angelic vampire stared at the wraith curiously before turning to the human dangling loosely from his shackles.

"What are you doing?" Janos asked.

"Feeding," Raziel said.

"I thought you didn't need…" Janos stared more intently at the unfortunate man and found no marks on him.

Raziel shook his head. "I said that I don't need blood. My hunger has been replaced."

"By what?" Janos asked.

"I am a devourer of souls," Raziel said.

Janos backed away in alarm. "You are an abomination to the wheel."

"He's the one who made me into what I am," Raziel retorted angrily. "Or at least that's what he claims, though I have my doubts as to whether or not that is actually true."

Janos flared his wings angrily. "He does not resort to deceit."

"He wants me to kill Kain," Raziel said.

"Could it be possible?" Janos asked quietly as he fingered the golden oroboros around his neck. "Vorador asked me if I thought that you were the right one. I am beginning to think that his concerns are not unfounded."

Raziel felt horrible. Janos had waited so patiently for the arrival of his savior, but Raziel felt that he could never be the vampire that Janos had expected, even if he was the right one. "I am not your enemy," Raziel stated.

Somehow, that seemed to be the reassurance that Janos needed. He laid one hand on Raziel's shoulder companionably and said, "Of course. If you were, you would have tried to destroy me already."

Raziel's spirits sunk further. Janos didn't realize the truth, but Raziel knew. Raziel had seen his mortal self go after the gentle vampire, and there might have been previous attempts on Janos' life.

Their tense exchange was interrupted by one of Vorador's harem. "There are Sarafan at the gates again."

"Calm yourself, childe," Janos said. "The gates will hold."

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_Okay, thank you anonymus, Zaran, Istari, and Lunatic Pandora. The reviews are helpful. On that note..._

_Being a guy would not have saved my OC. However, I'm planning on taking the rape out when I get all the kinks out and re-write my story. I'm going to keep it in the rough version though. _

_As for her quoting the games, Raziel has been hanging out with a giant squid that can read his mind, so he's suffered weirder things. Kain I imagined as being more intrigued. There are two choices on how I can carry this; either she starts speaking for herself again, or she's going to continue quoting the games._

_As for that thing where Kain can't exist unless Janos dies, they're about five centuries before the events of Blood Omen. Kain will dissapear then._


	5. Five

Author's Note: **Since the last chapter was so bad, I'm going to pretend that it didn't happen.** _(I could rewrite it, but I don't feel like subjecting people to an endless amount of them, so it's staying as-is until the final rewrite.)_ **The changes are that Janos meets Raziel in a hallway and they talk about is why Raziel was using a Sarafan sword. I might include a truncated conversation about what Janos expects Raziel to do. Janos doesn't tell Raziel about Vorador's suspicions that Raziel isn't the Vampire Messiah, and Janos doesn't realize yet that Raziel doesn't drink blood. The other change is that Kain didn't go anywhere, he's just resting and thinking.**_ This is a slightly short chapter, I know, but when combined with the changed version of the last chapter, it will work out to my average length._

_**Thanks to LunaticPandora and Varyssa for the reviews, and everyone else for the silence that accompanies a bad chapter.**_

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Raziel, Janos, Kain, and Vorador stood on top of the courtyard wall and watched as another wave of Sarafan troops stood ready for battle. This group was smaller than the last, but Raziel recognized the armored forms of his mortal self and bretheren. 

"Janos Audron," the Sarafan Raziel shouted. "Surrender, you vile fiend, and we will grant you the mercy of a quick death."

The wraith Raziel flexed his claws in anger. He could barely contain his indignation and rage at finding that the noble heritage that he had so revered was nothing more than an optimistic fantasy. Raziel felt that this righteous crusader was worse than the vampire that he was destined to become.

Raziel was about to leap off the wall to silence his abominable former self when Janos laid a restraining talon on his shoulder. "Do not risk your safety," the angelic vampire said.

Raziel blinked as he realized that Janos did not recognize the similarities between the wraith and the priest. "I won't allow him to keep treating you this way."

"I have seen generations of Sarafan spend their lives attempting to end mine," Janos said sadly. "More will come."

"This has to stop," Raziel said angrily. He boldly leapt off the wall to face the Sarafan army.

"Raziel, no!" Janos shouted. The angelic vampire glided down to protect his messiah, but he suddenly collapsed in pain. Turel had been hiding with Moebius' staff, but now he brandished it against the vampires.

Raziel realized what he had done and lashed out at Turel's green-armored chest. Surprised, Turel tried to swing the staff like his pike. Raziel wrenched the staff out of Turel's hands and began running with it deep into the swamp.

"He's mine!" a voice rang out. Raziel smirked to himself because he recognized it as his own.

Once the sounds of battle faded, the wraith turned around and flung the staff into the mud.

"I don't know what you are, but it doesn't matter because I'm going to destroy you," the Sarafan Raziel said.

The wraith smirked with his eyes. "You're welcome to try, but first tell me something. What kind of priest would rape a prisoner?"

The Sarafan looked surprised. "She was nothing more than a vampire whore. By serving your vile race, she has proven that she is no better."

The wraith crossed his lanky arms across his chest. "I see. Do you realize that perhaps it is you who is no better than the vampires that you despise?"

The Sarafan's face screwed into a scowl of contempt and disgust. "I am nothing like you."

The wraith stared stonily at his former self. Hooves squiching slightly in the mud, he strode towards the Sarafan with a measured step. "Are you so sure about that?" The wraith asked flatly. If the situation had been different, he was sure that he would be laughing.

Despite himself, the Sarafan began trembling. "Stand away, monster," he said. Raziel had faced many vampires in his time, but this was something different.

"Look at me," the wraith said. "I am your future."

The Sarafan sneered in horror as he understood what this monster was saying. With a fierce yell, he raised his sword and rushed at the wraith.

The wraith dodged the Sarafan's angry charge. He could tell that this was going to be a difficult battle. The staff was still disabling his wraith blade, but he also knew that he couldn't dare use it on his former self.

Fortunately for the wraith, the Sarafan was too overcome with rage and fear to fight properly. His sword swings were wild and uncontrolled. The wraith was angry as well, but he kept his emotions in check. He managed to place several deep scratches on the unprotected parts of the Sarafan's body.

Weak from loss of blood, the Sarafan stumbled. The wraith knocked the sword from the warrior-priest's hand. The wraith wrapped one clawed hand around the Sarafan's throat and used the other to restrain the bladed left wrist.

The Sarafan tried desperately with his right hand to pry the wraith's claws from his throat. Realizing that it was pointless, he spat, "You are everything that I hate."

"The feeling is mutual," the wraith replied coldly. He slowly squeezed his former self's throat. Blood flowed around his claws, and a wet crunch as he crushed his windpipe.

Raziel dropped his dead body onto the soft ground and watched as his own soul slowly drifted into the spectral realm. He considered that he could attempt to consume that soul or perhaps destroy the body, anything to keep them from being reunited. Raziel wondered what that would accomplish before deciding that wiping out his own existence was not the answer.

With a sigh, Raziel hoisted the dead body onto his shoulders and began trudging back towards Vorador's mansion.


	6. Six

Disclaimer: Sarah's mine, but much of her dialogue isn't. I own nothing else, Crystal Dynamics and Eidos do. **Important message to readers in the notes at the bottom.**

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Sarah hesitantly crept down into the catacombs of Vorador's mansion, wondering why Kain had insisted she come here. The stench of decay hung thick in the air, combined with equally unpleasant odors of mildew and swamp muck. The vault was dimly lit; only a vampire would be able to see clearly. Sarah's best source of light was the lone candle that she carried in trembling hands, and she guarded its wavering flame carefully. 

As her eyes slowly adjusted to the gloom, Sarah realized that the catacombs were different than the way they appeared in the game. Instead of a sharp drop into a pool of stagnant water, the floor extended to the walls. It was then that a squarish shadow caught Sarah's attention. She slowly shuffled towards it.

The pool of light cast by the candle illuminated the garish features of a fresh and bloody corpse: the Sarafan Raziel. Someone had placed him on a slab in the middle of this room, but had taken no pains to clean the body or arrange it in a comfortable position. His dead eyes bulged in their sockets, and his gray tongue parted ashen lips. Sarah stared in horror at the grotesque features and bloody ruin of a throat for a long moment before taking a trembling step backwards.

Sarah took a few panicky breaths and tried to calm her frayed nerves. It was then that she sensed that there was something moving in the inky shadows. Two bright spots of light appeared, and a dark shape stepped into the dim light filtering from the ramp that led back to the main floor of the mansion.

Sarah yelped as hot wax from the candle dripped onto her trembling hands; the flame winked out as the dropped candle dashed onto the floor. Sarah stared in wide-eyed horror at the humanoid silhouette.

"I don't intend to harm you," the wraith's cultured voice asserted, "but I might forget that if you keep resorting to your little quoting game."

Sarah opened her mouth as if to say something, but left the words unspoken. She took a tiny step backward then froze as a quick glance reminded her of the bloody cadaver in the darkness. Sarah acted equally afraid of both embodiments of Raziel, even though only one was capable of harming her.

Raziel made no move to get any closer to the girl, it was enough that he was between her and the exit. "Can you not speak for yourself?"

"Y-yes," Sarah quavered.

"Then I expect a straight answer this time. How can I avoid my fate?"

"Don't touch the Reaver," Sarah whispered. Her voice conveyed an insistence that it was that simple.

Raziel shifted his weight in irritation. "That will only delay my end. There has to be a way to rewrite it completely."

Fat tears welled up in Sarah's eyes. She was scared, mostly, and wondering what else was going to happen to her.

Raziel hadn't really expected the dead body to impress Sarah, nor did he wish it had. Raziel had discovered through his journeys that even if he did kill Kain, that wouldn't erase the anger that he felt towards his Lord and executioner. Still, before he realized this, the thoughts of revenge had been a great comfort. It seemed that this poor girl was beyond that type of succor, or perhaps it was simply because she knew that the death wasn't permanent.

"Answer me truthfully and I'll let you pass," Raziel pressed.

Too upset to speak for herself, Sarah once again lapsed into a quote. "I cannot help you, even if I was inclined to."

Raziel stared coldly at Sarah for a long moment. "Very well, we will continue this later."

Raziel stepped back into the shadows, giving Sarah more than ample space to get past him. He kept his eyes open this time, their dull glow clearly indicating his position. Sarah fearfully took a few trembling steps towards the exit before breaking into a run.

Later, Raziel and Kain watched as the bodies of the Sarafan warriors were loaded onto a cart. Raziel noticed Kain's gaze lingering on the six corpses that one day would become his sons, but the vampire held his chiseled features in an emotionless mask.

"What a mess," Kain murmured.

Raziel shot an angry glance at Kain. The other inquisitors were merely marked with deep slashes and stray smears of blood. It was obvious that Kain had drained them all, doubtless to recover from the wounds he would have sustained when facing such skilled foes.

"It is fortunate that little has changed," Kain continued. "Though I seem to remember that now they'll be buried with their mouths stuffed with foul-smelling herbs. Perhaps they were afraid that their venerated saints would join the undead."

Raziel's eyes blazed with resentment. "I still do not applaud your little joke."

Kain turned away from the corpse-laden carts. "Did she speak to you?"

"For a moment," Raziel said in disappointment, "but she doesn't seem to know anything of real value, nor is she willing to give me anything I might possibly use."

"Then we will need to find our answers elsewhere," Kain declared.

Janos was among the architects of the pillars," Raziel pondered. "He seems to have imagined things differently than the way they turned out, but he still might be able to shed some light on this mystery."

* * *

**First, I'd like to apologize to anyone who has been exposed to my especially _abrasive_ attitude lately.** I have a feeling that Sarah is really bad for my psyche. I'm thinking that I should divide my attention between this and a happier project. (I have another story in mind that closely resembles this one, except that the character is snarky and has unbelivably good luck.) **Actually, I can't blame Sarah for this because I kinda feel that I've been like this for longer than that.**

I realize that this is a half-chapter, but I just can't figure out what Janos is going to say to Kain, or where I'm going to go next, or how I'm going to get there. I think that I'd have better luck solving the Stone Glyph puzzle with my pitiful mortal strength than trying to shift this stupid writer's block.

The sad thing about Raziel deciding to tell his past self the truth is that it won't do one lick of good. I love making moments like that. I'm almost of the same mind that it was only the body that made the vampire Raziel, combined with some random soul, but there was probably a good reason why they went rocketing off like that in SR2, so I'm going to act like it's still a possibility that it was the same soul.

I present Istari with a pretty dagger. Next time you lay into my story like that, you won't have to risk damaging your claws. (grin) As for Raziel and the Reaver, I'm going to take a cue from CD and not give any real clue about what I'm planning.(Actually, I haven't decided yet.)

Varyssa figured it out. I had two options with Sarah: keep quoting or speak for herself. Just because there are two options doesn't mean I'm going to stick with one.

**Thanks to Istari, Lunatic Pandora, Varyssa, and Anonymus for speaking up.**


	7. Snap

Raziel and Kain eventually found Janos in the fountain room. They stood on the ledge above the three fountains and listened as the angelic vampire talked with Sarah in the courtyard below. 

"The Sarafan are nothing but vile bastards," Sarah spat miserably.

"What they did to you was inexcusable, child, but you must not continue to let this destroy your life," Janos consoled.

"They would have destroyed you," Sarah said. "No one deserves their whim."

"Are you a seer?" Janos questioned.

Sarah spoke hesitantly. "I don't have any mystic powers, but I have seen things happen. The Sarafan order won't be around much longer."

Still on the ledge, Kain turned to Raziel and murmured, "Seeing you may cause her to become inhibited again. Stay here for a moment." Kain then dropped off the ledge and silently landed in the courtyard.

Sarah gave a small gasp as Kain approached.

"You shouldn't have sent her to confront the body of her attacker alone," Janos admonished Kain.

Kain paused a moment in thought. It was not in his nature to be kind or emotionally supportive; he felt that his presence would not have done Sarah any good. Kain did not voice his opinion; it was also not in his nature to explain himself.

Kain decided that perhaps it was in Sarah's best interests if he ignored her for the moment. "Janos, I seek your counsel."

The feathered vampire slowly rose from his bench. "I will help you in any way I can."

"What do you know about my purpose?" Kain asked.

"The pillars must not remain under human guardianship," Janos said. "In the past, we were able to find the successors of our fallen guardians and pass our bloodline to them. However, they rebelled and claimed the pillars for themselves. You must return the pillars to the vampires before the humans allow the binding to fail."

Kain shifted his weight pensively. "If it were only that simple."

Janos frowned at Kain in confusion. He spoke hesitantly, "Go to the Oracle. I do not know the entirety of the prophecy, but I do know that only the Scion would have the means to unseal the chamber. There must be a reason."

Kain sneered slightly at the mention of an oracle, but asked calmly, "Where should I look?"

"It is in the Citadel." Janos said, a distant look on his face. "I would take you there, but there are wards around it that even I cannot breach."

"Then how do I find it?" Kain asked, an edge of irritation creeping into his voice.

"I do not know," Janos sighed.

"The answers are plain if you know where to look." Sarah sat stonily on the bench where Janos had left her. "Go west of the Pillars."

Kain slowly strode towards Sarah, intrigued that she would speak without being spoken to first.

"I see you have found a fragment of the Balance Emblem. This will be even further use to you- if you can find the other three," Sarah quoted mindlessly.

Kain placed one talon under her chin so that he could look into Sarah's eyes, but they rolled back in her head in a reaction the stress of being touched with razor-sharp vampire claws.

"You will speak," Kain commanded before withdrawing his talon. "Tell me about the Emblem."

Sarah shuddered as she realized that Kain's patience was growing thin, but she managed to put her thoughts into words. "You need the entire artifact to open the chamber, but the fragment you need to find the Citadel is not far from the pillars."

Kain was about to ask about the other fragments, but Raziel chose that moment to leap down from the ledge. Sarah whimpered as she heard Raziel's hoofs scuff on the flagstones of the courtyard. An uncomfortable silence settled, punctuated only by the steady splash of water into the churning pool at the center of the room.

"I think that you know far more than you should; it's time that you told us what you know," Raziel enunciated.

"This isn't helping," Kain scowled.

Janos sighed and said, "Sarah, you told me that you know what happens. Will you now help us to set things right?"

Sarah gazed at the enigmatic vampire. More tears flowed onto her streaked cheeks, but she nodded slowly. "He needs all the elements, but he won't have access to the fonts."

"Vorador had his house built over the entrance to the water shrine," Janos said. "The portal is in the fountain."

Raziel examined the pool. "Another puzzle, I suppose."

"I'm not sure why the seers insisted that the shrines be protected in this way," Janos said apologetically.

Once Raziel wandered off in an attempt to figure out how to get into the water shrine, Kain offered to escort Sarah back to her room.

"You won't be able to save him," Sarah told Kain as they slowly walked down the dark hallway.

"I refuse to believe that there is no other way," Kain insisted.

"I've thought about it- a lot," Sarah said, the words sounding like a shameful confession. "Even when I did care about what happened, I couldn't figure out how to change it."

* * *

Calimari! **Istari, **you did exactly what I wanted you to do. The dagger was a reward gift. (Smoke takes the dagger away and hands Istari a crossbow instead.) I'm not sure exactly what you're supposed to do with this, but it's a _ranged_ weapon, meaning that you're not likely to be able to hurt yourself with it. Oooh, I know, you can use it to shoot me in the leg next time that I resort to boring vocabulary. 

Varewulf! (glomp) Advice in any form, really.

Lunatic Pandora, that wisdom is about the only thing keeping her alive right now.

Varyssa, things have gotten worse. The sad part is that I can bear far more than this without harm.

(sigh) Who ever knew that when I created Sarah, I would turn into an angst-ridden approximation of her past? I'm really hoping that I'm not going to repeat her present.

**Thanks everyone for reviewing that half-chapter. This chapter was the rest of it. **_If that made any sense..._


	8. Eight

1/16/05 Disclaimer: I'm so sick of writing disclaimers, don't sue me. Notes at bottom.

* * *

Raziel sat on the chandelier above Vorador's dining room and stared wistfully at the light globe recessed in the wall at the far end. He had reasoned that the gargoyles that disrupted the portal to the water shrine had something to do with the statue of the vampire hero below him. Indeed, Raziel had found a font for the elemental power of darkness and used it to extinguish the globe of light behind the vampire hero. The rest of the orbs were proving more difficult since they were protected by another variety of gargoyle that impeded his progress. Raziel guessed that he would be able to get past them in the spectral realm, but there was only one font on the patio, and the Reaver would lose its enhancements as soon as Raziel abandoned his physical form. Perhaps this is what Sarah meant when she said the he wouldn't have access to the fonts.

"What are you doing?"

Raziel peered over the edge of the chandelier to see Vorador staring up at him. "I don't feel the need to explain my actions to you," the wraith spat.

"It's my business to know what goes on in my own home," Vorador declared. "As it is, I don't trust you."

Raziel leapt down from the chandelier without bothering to slow his decent. Inwardly, Raziel felt a little ridiculous when he had to use his arms to support the tatters of his ruined wings. "What are you implying?" Raziel asked, though he could guess what Vorador was going to say based on their conversation nearly five centuries into the future.

"Janos doesn't seem to see it, but I do," Vorador sneered. "You look like a demon."

Raziel could not deny his appearance; he had thought the same thing before. "You have nothing to fear from me unless you choose to be my enemy."

Vorador sighed and considered the statue of the vampire hero with its one dark flame. "You seem to be having trouble."

Raziel frowned inwardly. "Have you come to offer advice?"

Vorador quirked a scaly eyebrow at Raziel. "I didn't design these trials."

Raziel turned on his heel and left the dining room. He decided to see if Sarah was forthcoming with the answer to his current problem. When he didn't find her in her room, Raziel explored the manor until he discovered that Sarah was in the library. Raziel entered silently.

Sarah was sitting on the floor in front of another statue of a vampire hero. The girl was staring intently at something on the left wall, and then she would hunch over a piece of paper and scribble carefully.

Raziel was just about to reveal his presence to Sarah when he noticed Kain sitting in one of the upper alcoves. The silver-haired vampire was peering over the top of a book at Raziel. With a well-aimed leap, Raziel landed in the alcove in front of Kain.

"I never expected you to play nursemaid to anyone," Raziel said quietly.

"I'm not going to leave her unguarded until those cuts on her back heal," Kain said.

"She'd be safe enough locked in her room," Raziel pointed out.

Kain nodded in concession, but stated, "She is not a prisoner."

Raziel glanced around the room. He guessed that he would need the Reaver to be imbued with the element of light to activate the globes, but he couldn't see an appropriate font. He slowly walked towards Sarah.

The girl's charcoal stopped moving and she peered cautiously at Raziel. The wraith could now see that Sarah had been copying the mural of the vampire hero. Her drawing was completely accurate.

"I cannot open the gateway to the water shrine," Raziel stated.

Sarah stared at Raziel's hoofs. She never imagined that the messianic wraith could become so helpless because of a simple alteration to his destiny. She spoke almost too quietly for the vampires to hear. "Start in a graveyard near Ziegsturhl."

At Raziel's confused look, Kain supplied, "The forbidden grounds."

Raziel pulled his eyebrows into an echo of a smirk. It was a shame that he would be five centuries too early to invoke the same transgression on Kain's crypt as Kain himself had to Raziel's tomb. Raziel left without saying a word.

Kain stood behind Sarah. Their height difference caused Sarah discomfort at the best of times, but since she was still sitting on the floor, Kain towered menacingly above her. Sarah froze, hoping that the vampire would simply leave.

"Have you gained any further insight on sparing Raziel?" Kain asked.

Sarah swallowed. "He cannot escape his destiny, only postpone it."

Kain walked around Sarah and crouched down in front of her. "I could have freed him from the blade if you hadn't interfered."

"It didn't work," Sarah said.

"Why didn't it work?" Kain asked.

"Because the Soul Reaver has always been Raziel," Sarah said.

Kain frowned. "This library has scraps of prophecy, lost histories, and other clues that might give insight. I suggest that you start searching for the ones that would prove you wrong."

Even though she knew it was futile, Sarah honored Kain's request. Even with Kain's reluctance to harm her, Sarah could not help thinking of the peasants in Blood Omen 2, especially the ones that were shaken while being choked. Sarah poured over the books as much as she could during the hours when the sun's rays penetrated the thick canopy of the swamp.

After several days, Sarah's back healed, and Kain decided that it was safe to leave the girl in Vorador's protection.

* * *

For some reason, I can't see my screen very well, so please excuse the typos.

Respect, fear, the result is the same. Kain still wishes that he could just beat the answers out of her, I think.

Let's see, "Even when I did care about what happened," I wonder where the hole that's causing it to be unclear is... Sarah can readily quote from the LOK games, even BO, which says that she's a big fan. She says that she's thought about Raziel's imprisonment a lot, indicating someone who is a little bit dissapointed that it had to come to that. Now, Sarah is mad at Raziel because she knows that the wraith and the sarafan are the same being. Some people I talk to in real life say that the worst crime that someone can inflict on another and then be forgiven for afterwards is the theft of something that means a lot to the person. By that reasoning, Sarah would probably rather that Raziel move in with Turel so he can get stomped on for the next millenium.

**Here's something I'm concerned about: **1, Is Sarah becoming too verbal too quickly. (I kind of figured that her refusal to talk was going to make the story drag.) 2, Is Sarah becoming too helpful? (As Kain feared, she could be intentionally leading Raziel to the most painful alternative. She is telling the truth about not being able to figure out how to change it.)

Lunatic Pandora: Thanks for your observations, it's good to have another set of eyes.

Varyssa: Thanks for the cake. I'm sharing it with everyone because sharing gives me the warm fuzzies. Actually, angst is the source of my power most times, I just have to be careful how I use it.

Istari: All right, if you promise not to hurt yourself. This is the katana that I used when I needed to remove large chunks from "Razzy Plush." On that note, it probably needs sharpening.

Thanks to everyone else that doesn't know what to say at the moment.


	9. Forges

1/16/05 Disclaimer: I don't have the right to write about Raziel, Kain and the Reaver. Major observations at the bottom.

* * *

Raziel trudged slowly down the middle of a stream. He had been mildly confused when instead of a graveyard, he had merely encountered some ancient ruins. Still, the shrines for both light and darkness had been there, but it was strange that Sarah did not know that the site would only become a cemetery some day in the future.

Raziel came to a waterfall and checked to see if it emptied into a lake that would require a dive, or simply a small pond that he could glide over. The latter proved to be true, but there was something else that caught Raziel's eye. A face was carved into the cliff above the pool, and above that floated a strange artifact.

Raziel glided to some rocks on the opposite side of the pool and gazed at the strange artifact. It seemed to be vampiric in design, but the wraith could not leap high enough to reach it. Raziel could feel his symbiotic weapon's constrained tingling, but it was only a mild interest. He guessed that the artifact wasn't meant for him.

His eyes fell on a doorway set into a cliff. It was marked with the elemental symbol for fire. With some difficulty, Raziel was able to clamber up to the ledge and go through the door.

A while later, Raziel emerged from the shrine with a new enhancement to his blade. He paused for a moment to reflect on what he had seen inside. Vorador hadn't mentioned that he had been the Reaver's maker.

Even more interesting was that the original pillar guardians had been entombed inside; they had thought that Raziel would be glad for death. Raziel supposed that if these guardians were anything like Ariel, they would be glad to find peace.

Raziel tried to continue, only to find his path blocked by a strange gate flanked by smoldering sconces. He was able to use the Reaver's new enhancement to open the gate. When he saw who was standing on the other side, he spat, "What are you doing here?"

Kain blinked in surprise and indicated the pillars behind him. "I am simply looking for the answers that Sarah indicated to me."

Raziel smugly leaned against the gate. He had sensed the weariness and frustration edging Kain's voice; not many creatures could pick up on it.

Kain, on the other hand, was very skilled in reading other's attitudes, and it wasn't as if Raziel was trying to hide what he was feeling. If the wraith were capable of grinning, he'd look like the cat that ate the canary. Kain decided that he wasn't in the mood for games, so he asked directly, "What have you found?"

"I believe that it is exactly what you're looking for," Raziel said. He didn't bother to step out of Kain's way. The master vampire was forced to edge past his ruined progeny.

With a grand gesture, Kain telekinetically pulled the carved face away from the cliff. Behind it was a switch that activated an extending ledge. The heavy vampire hauled himself up onto the ledge just as it retracted back into the cliff face. Fortunately, there was still enough space for Kain to stand and reach the artifact.

Kain stared at the artifact in his talons for a moment. He decided that it could fit the monolith that he saw earlier, but he also wondered if it was supposed to do anything else.

Both Kain and Raziel made their way across the pillars' clearing, though neither acted like they were traveling with the other. Both, however, gazed upwards to admire the pristine beauty of the pillars that they were both striving to restore.

Raziel paused to consider the high ledge to the north of the pillars. Now it had a small waterfall gurgling down its face. The wraith wasn't anxious for another soggy and cold walk, even though the discomfort was only in his mind. Even worse, Raziel was reluctant to pass through the chamber below the pillars and invite another censure from the resident squid.

Meanwhile, Kain misted through the sealed gate at the west edge of the pillars clearing. Raziel listened to the sounds of angry Sarafan and battle for a few moments, and then shed his physical form so that he could follow Kain through the gate. It wasn't as if there was a better direction to go.

There wasn't any conduit back to the physical realm directly on the other side of the gate. Raziel climbed onto a broken column and used it to leap onto the next level of the ruins. A conduit lay just beyond those ruins.

When he reappeared, Raziel was surrounded by Sarafan warriors. He reactively lashed out with the Reaver, hoping that he could kill enough of them before his blade turned on him. To Raziel's surprise, the Reaver did not try to feed off of him; instead it simply sated its hunger on the warriors.

Even without the Reaver's parasitic behavior to contend with, Raziel was still outnumbered, and he was sustaining numerous wounds. With an effort of will, Raziel was able to restrain the Reaver and take the Sarafan's soul for himself.

In a matter of minutes, it was over. Raziel voraciously leapt on the last swooning warrior and ripped his soul from his body. Exhausted, Raziel stood and surveyed the scene of carnage. It was then that Kain emerged from the back of the ruins and came walking down the uneven path to the cliff.

Ignoring Raziel, Kain placed the artifact against the monolith at the edge of the cliff. The vampire was rewarded with a glimpse of a place that he had never known existed. The citadel had been shrouded in mists; these were surely the wards that Janos had spoken about.

"Do you think that you'll find the answers you are looking for?" Raziel asked.

"I expect so," Kain said, though inwardly he was growing unsure. Seeing the pillars in their uncorrupted state had strengthened his resolve to return them to that condition, but it also reminded Kain of the damage that had already been done in his native timeline.

"Are you willing to share your insights once you have gained them?" Raziel demanded. "I'm not comfortable with the thought of you holding all of the cards."

Kain glanced over his shoulder at Raziel. He didn't want to hold any hope of regaining Raziel's trust after everything that had happened, but the confirmation that there wasn't any shred of possibility still chipped at his courage. "I will share with you anything that I think will be of use," Kain said before he dissolved into a cloud of bats.

Raziel glanced at the citadel just visible in the distance. He judged that Kain's teleportation spell must have a limited range, or else he would have used that. The wraith turned back in the direction he had come and noticed another entrance to a forge. Raziel twisted his torso in a back-cracking stretch before he entered the wind shrine.

* * *

_All right, I think I should stop to explain some things here. Actually, I shouldn't have to explain, the writing should speak for itself, but it is a point of interest because I've examined this._

_Raziel and Kain are both in the age of the Sarafan at this point. 500 years later, when Raziel is supposed to wander through the fire clearing, there is a climbable wall. In the age of the Sarafan, there is a statue of an angel blocking the way. I decided to "cheat" things a little bit to say that Raziel can reach the ledge from the rocks at the edge of the pool, especially since there's only a game-based collision wall that prevents him from even standing on the rocks that Kain needed to stand on to get to the dimension emblem. I'm pretty sure that an invisible collision wall is the only reason why Kain couldn't walk past the doorway to the fire shrine. If it was a physical reason, Raziel can jump farther than Kain. (I tested that at the door to the wind shrine.)_

_Another point, Kain doesn't have any other pieces of the balance emblem. I decided that none of the fragments would enhance the Reaver until Kain got the center emblem. Also, he wouldn't have been able to get through that gate without either Raziel's help or the fragment that he was supposed to get from the Stronghold._

_Another note: that column that Kain knocks down to get to that cliff in the age of the Sarafan was somehow repaired 500 years later, which necessitated Raziel's need for a key. Since Kain has just knocked it down, it's still broken._

_Since the disruption to time happened towards the end of Soul Reaver 2, many of the things that happened in the beginning of Defiance never got triggered. Raziel still has access to planer portals and fonts. (Though the fonts are slowly becoming unneeded because of the new enhancements.) Also, the scenery is slightly amalgamated._

_Slightly related note that has nothing to do with this chunk: I decided that almost none of the doors in Vorador's mansion have Reaver-based locks, though a couple of the specialized doors still have their odd keys._


	10. Ten

January 24 2005 Disclaimer. The only character I own is Sarah, but I don't own much of what she says.

* * *

Raziel kicked the front gate of Vorador's courtyard. He was frustrated. In the air shrine, Raziel had easily found the specter of the original mind guardian, but trying to find the dimension guardian had been futile. 

Raziel had spent several hours fruitlessly searching in both realms. The wraith reasoned that he had reached the air shrine too soon, and was therefore missing an element. The other forges had seemed designed to be visited in a certain order.

Raziel first went into the dining room to extinguish the globes of light with the elemental power of darkness. Now that he had gained the ability to cloak himself in that elemental attribute, Raziel had no difficulty in passing the gargoyles undetected.

Raziel had just extinguished the last globe when Vorador wandered in, a bride on each arm. The green vampire had just enough time to frown at the spear appearing in the statue's hands before Raziel's darkness spell dissipated. Vorador and his brides yelled in alarm as Raziel seemed to appear out of nowhere.

Raziel cocked his eyebrows and stared at the startled trio for a moment before retrieving the spear. Without a word, the wraith propped the spear on his shoulder and marched out of the room.

With one spear in its rightful place through the heart of the enemy figure, Raziel decided to go after the one in the library. He entered the room silently and saw Sarah studiously leaning over an arrangement of books and papers. She was singing quietly to herself as she worked. Raziel listened to the soft drone as he slowly walked down the stairs.

"If you peel away the skin, is there anybody there? If you peel away the armor, is it too late to begin? Is there anybody hiding if you peel away the skin?"

Raziel wondered why a living person would know such a morbid song. Then again, much of what Sarah knew was uncommon knowledge. The girl stopped singing as she noticed Raziel's presence.

Raziel was struck by how weary the girl looked. Her eyes were misted over with fatigue and lined with dull red splotches. Her thin hands trembled slightly, and her hair was tousled.

"Haven't you rested?" Raziel asked. He didn't feel for the girl any more than he felt for the thousands of people that he must have killed in his lifetime. Raziel's concern came from the realization that Sarah did indeed have the ability to steer him away from the madness that he so dreaded.

"Nightmares," Sarah muttered hatefully.

Raziel let his eyebrows pull into a frown. There was no point in hiding it; Sarah's gaze was locked firmly on his chest. "Why are you willing to help me?"

Fresh tears welled up in Sarah's eyes. "Janos," she breathed.

"You're helping me just because Janos asked you to?" Raziel asked incredulously. He paused to let some of the emotion drain from his voice. "Why?"

"He suffered more," Sarah mumbled wearily. "It's not right."

Raziel fought back the urge to argue. He was the one who had suffered the most, and it seemed like the worst was not over. "Do you have my interests in mind at all?"

"It won't be in vain," Sarah muttered sadly.

Raziel thumped the table angrily, causing Sarah to jolt in fright. "I know you have every reason to hate me, but please…" He let the sentence trail off.

Sarah indicated the books and notes spread out across the table. "It's futile."

Raziel picked up a sheath of papers that were covered in illegible lines and blocks of bloodscript as well as occasional words and phrases that he could understand. Those few words were enough for Raziel to see that they were scraps of prophecy and other clues to his destiny. "You say that it's futile, yet you are still trying to find a way to change my fate?"

Sarah sighed miserably as fresh tears bubbled in her eyes.

Raziel decided to let his curiosity diminish for the moment. He set the papers back down on the table and said, "I don't understand."

Raziel turned his attentions to lighting all of the orbs in the library. When he struggled with the one in the fireplace, Sarah wordlessly crawled under the table and triggered the hidden switch that cut off the gas. Within moments, Raziel had the second spear. He was about to leave Sarah to her research when she spoke out.

"Things in this world, I am learning, are rarely what they seem."

Raziel turned. "What are you trying to say?"

Sarah acted as if she didn't hear Raziel, but she said distantly, "You are being mislead, Raziel. This ancient race hoped to manipulate the future with these scrawled misdirections. You must tread carefully. There are dark forces at work in this world, bent of subverting your true destiny."

"And I'm sure that the one who said that is at the center of it," Raziel sniffed.

"Remember your rage. Let it guide your hand."

Raziel frowned at an odd inflection behind the quote. Sarah usually copied the tones of the speaker, though her own emotions usually tinted the words as well. This time was different somehow. Raziel slowly sauntered back to the girl. "Sarah?"

She finally looked towards Raziel's face, though she seemed to stare straight through him. "Acting out of rage almost destroyed you."

With that chilling advice suffusing his spirit, Raziel returned to the fountain room. Finding the third spear presented a challenge, but Raziel managed it quickly enough. He was beginning to dislike whoever had decided that the forges should be so well protected.

When Raziel arrived in the water shrine, he was confronted with a disturbing mural. He had been aware of the vampire hero of prophecy, but this was the first mural he had seen of his opponent. Yes, Raziel had once been a vampire, and the abyss had turned him blue, but the wraith could not help but notice that he also resembled the enemy's hero. Raziel blinked his fiery eyes as he stared at the Reaver, and then back at the mural.

Raziel's troubling introspection was interrupted by the sound of movement deeper in the shrine. He shifted his weight into an attack stance; slicing through a few of those feather-wearing primitives was just what he needed right now. Raziel's eyes narrowed as he instead saw his sire approaching down the hallway.

"Raziel," Kain said, his scowl lifting slightly in momentary confusion.

"What are you doing here?" Raziel growled.

"I am exploring the vampire ruins," Kain said as though it were obvious.

Raziel gestured angrily at the mural behind him. "What do you think I am?"

Kain stared at the mural. After a long moment, he spoke. "You are the key to saving Nosgoth." The determination in his voice sounded forced, as if he was beginning to doubt his own convictions.

Irritated, Raziel shed his physical form. Kain frowned as he watched his son dissolve into a cloud of glowing ash. A moment later, he heard a soft hum of energy coming from the center of the shrine. Kain jogged back down the hallway and misted through the bars of the gate.

Kain watched from the upper ledge as Raziel absorbed the energy from the forge. The wraith shook with the intensity of the energy, and then collapsed when it was over. When Raziel turned from admiring the new enhancements to his weapon, he scowled up at Kain. The albino vampire leapt down to the floor of the shrine, adjusting his personal gravity so that he would land softly.

"I've had some time to think, Kain. I believe that you want to imprison me in your sword." Raziel said angrily.

"Don't be a fool," Kain growled. "That is the one outcome that I'm trying to avoid."

Raziel turned and stomped away angrily. By now he was familiar with the way that the forges worked. Always, the portal that would return him to the entrance of the shrine would become temporarily deactivated. He passed into a small side chamber. The room was flooded with two smoldering sconces on the opposite side. Raziel lit those sconces, assuming that they would re-activate the exit portal.

Meanwhile, Kain stood pensively in the main chamber of the shrine. Raziel's anger had served Kain well enough in the past, but now it was a liability. Kain was concerned that Raziel would again turn his attentions to killing him.

Raziel passed into another of the small side chambers, and Kain slowly walked into the room that Raziel had just left. Kain allowed himself a small smile of amusement; Raziel had cleared the obstacle to the next fragment of the balance emblem.

As Kain took the artifact, doors throughout the water shrine slammed shut. The vampire was unconcerned; it seemed that his new acquisition would open those doors.

Kain returned to the main chamber and watched Raziel in fascination. The wraith scampered into a chamber and disappeared, only to mysteriously re-appear in another chamber a moment later. Kain didn't pretend to understand Raziel's exact nature, but it was fascinating to watch.

Eventually, Raziel noticed that his way to the portal was now blocked. He tapped the lock with one talon and glanced at Kain, who smirked as he held up his new fragment.

"Let me go, Kain!" Raziel yelled.

"First, you will listen to me," Kain insisted. "I no longer wish to be your enemy."

"You should have thought about that before you had me executed," Raziel spat.

"Raziel, everyone is bound to their fate; except for you," Kain said. "Because of your remaking, you have a choice."

"I don't believe you," Raziel sneered. He leapt off of the ledge back down to Kain's level. "Besides, how am I supposed to exercise my free will while you insist on holding me here?"

"There is too much at stake," Kain said. "Haven't you figured out that your anger makes you vulnerable to the manipulations of others?"

"Such as yours?" Raziel asked. "I am tired of being your pawn."

"Do you want to see Nosgoth restored?" Kain did not wait for an answer. "If you do, then you must trust me."

"Or else you'll keep me here? I think that you'll starve before I do," Raziel challenged.

Kain sighed. He could see that this argument wasn't helping the situation. Grudgingly, he unlocked the door. Kain almost expected Raziel to depart immediately, but he also wasn't surprised when the wraith stopped in front of the portal.

Raziel stared again at the mural. "Maybe Vorador was right about me."

Silently, Kain stepped through his own portal back to the vampire citadel. He knew that for the moment there was nothing more that he could do for Raziel.

* * *

For those of you interested in roughs, I have a rejected copy of the conversation between Raziel and Sarah in my scraps at deviantart deviation 14446254. I'm still not completely happy with the version here; either conversation. 

Tomlette: Yeah, Jennifer is my Mary-Sue. I didn't know about self-inserts back then and how annoying they can get. I'm honored to notice that you bookmarked/faved this one.

Lunatic Pandora: Why would Sarah confront Vorador about the Reaver? She knows that when he was done with it, it was merely an impressive sword. Of course, she could ask Vorador why images of the Reaver appears in places older than he is. As for what Sarah told Kain, "I am simply looking for the answers that Sarah indicated to me." I think I should add Kain saying with a sniff, "There's nothing west of the pillars except a dead end." Does that make it clear?

Varyssa: She doesn't drool over mister tall and powerful like you do. Exposing some of her backstory, Sarah did play Blood Omen first, but she's not Kain-centric. She became intrigued with eachcharacter as they were introduced. She also doesn't seem to hate the green and the purple vampires as much as you seem to.


	11. Through the forges

January 30, 2005

Disclaimer: In the last chapter, Sarah was singing "Skin" by Oingo Boingo. She's my character, though much of what she says isn't. Everyone else belongs to Crystal Dynamics or Eidos or something.

**Author's Notes at the top this time. _Well, all except for a really spoiler note that I decided to stick at the bottom._**

**Post-revisionist note:** In the last chapter, Raziel missed one of the braziers that would open the portal from the water shrine back to Vorador's mansion. When he went into the portal room, he simply noted that the portal was not open before he stared at the mural.

**Another Post-revisionist note:** I've decided to change things so that Kain found the fire fragment in the Sarafan stronghold on the same day that he rescued Sarah, but he doesn't have the main piece because Moebius decided to hide it from him. This doesn't make any significant changes to my story because none of the fragments work without that main piece.

**Announcement: **I stopped by the army surplus store recently, (not a normal one, but one that has swords and cannons and fish and nuclear armaments,) and if anyone needs to whapp me with something, go ahead and grab what you need. You can also borrow this junk if you need to smack around your muses, but I don't condone the use of the weapons on other authors. _Btw, Varyssa, is Cpt. Kain one of your muses now? **wink**_

**Varyssa: **I'm handing you a cardboard tube, I think you can guess what it is for. You've actually stumbled onto Sarah's main motivational thingy. (I had a brilliant way of saying that earlier.)

**Tomlette: **Yeah, it's getting kinda hard to make interesting descriptions for crying when she breaks down every two minutes. I'm like the eskimoes needing a hundred words for snow. What's it called when the tear perches on the eyelasses and just swells instead of going somewhere? Oh well, it's going with the rest of the good advice.

**Lunatic Pandora: **Sarah might have words with Vorador. shrug Keep trucking.

* * *

Kain created a makeshift shelter in the ruins of the vampire citadel. He could go several days without sleep when it suited him, but for now he was glad for the chance to think and rest. 

His thoughts drifted to Raziel and his reaction to seeing the mural. Kain hadn't considered the possibility that Raziel was anything other than the instrument of Nosgoth's salvation.

When Kain awoke, he used his newest piece of the balance emblem to unlock the gate. He cut his way through some of the tribal humans that had somehow managed to find their own way past the locks and entered the earth shrine.

Kain stopped to examine the mural depicting the story of how the ancient vampires tried to preserve the binding by turning the human pillar guardians. He was mildly surprised to see that Moebius was among those that wrested the pillars from vampire control. Kain felt now that he understood just how deep his conflict with the timestreamer ran.

Kain wondered why some of the shrines had guardian statues while others didn't. Then he remembered that Raziel was wandering through these ruins as well. It made sense that whichever one of them entered the shrine first would have to clear its golems.

Kain frowned once he destroyed the statue that guarded the entrance to the air shrine. The murals depicted two outcomes to the heroes' battle. It was as if the prophets could not decide which one would win. Kain did not know what to make of this new information, just that he had come too far to begin to have doubts now.

Kain wound up back in the light shrine. Once he had gained the next piece of the balance emblem, Kain pulled out the other three and examined them. He could see by the representation of the emblem on the locks that there was a piece missing from the middle. Sarah hadn't mentioned that one; Kain would have to ask her about it when he went back to check on her research.

As Kain walked along the upper ledge of the light shrine, he thought about how he had needed Raziel's help to gain half of the fragments. Kain also thought about how it was Sarah's advice that inspired him to come looking for all but the first one. The Scion wondered if his destiny was meant to be so dependant on the actions of those around him.

Kain smiled slightly at the irony as he felt Raziel's presence in the shrine. He looked through the bars that were meant to block access to the portal that led to the fire shrine. Raziel seemed weary, as if he had spent far longer than one sleepless night worrying about his purpose. However, when he saw Kain, he immediately tensed into a hostile crouch.

Kain did not pass through the gate, preferring to keep the barrier between them. "I don't want to fight you, Raziel."

Raziel approached Kain slowly. "Do you really think that you can avoid it?"

"I told you that I would share with you whatever knowledge I could glean from these ruins," Kain insisted.

His curiosity piqued, Raziel relaxed slightly. "What have you discovered?"

"That whoever painted those murals could not accurately see what would happen to you," Kain said.

"What exactly is that supposed to mean?" Raziel demanded.

Kain stepped back from the bars. "Perhaps you would rather see for yourself?"

Raziel wordlessly passed into the spectral realm and reappeared in the center of the main chamber's floor. After a moment, he managed to climb back onto the upper ledge.

Kain indicated the portal that led to the air shrine. "In one of the upper rooms there are two murals. They both cannot be correct."

"I don't know what game you're playing, Kain," Raziel sneered. However, the wraith strode purposely through the portal.

Kain was about to follow Raziel back into the air shrine when the crystal that powered the portal sparked and cracked. Kain watched in horror as it was deactivated and hoped that Raziel had at least come out on the other side.

The wraith was thrown from the portal. He clambered back to his feet and thought how his trips through the others had not been like that. Raziel watched with detached interest as the portal shuddered with one final burst of energy before parts of it cracked away.

He shrugged as he wandered deeper into the shrine. The whole point of following Kain's exit in the first place was because Raziel did not feel like going back to Vorador's. With any luck, there would still be the portal that led to the ruins west of the pillars.

Raziel leapt through a hole in the floor, and his eyes widened in surprise. So this was the dimension guardian's tomb. Raziel shifted to the spirit realm, wondering if the missing specter was here.

After an intense battle, Raziel used the portal in the corner of the room to return to the physical realm. He walked deeper into the shrine and emerged from a hole in the wall of the mind guardian's tomb. Raziel knew that the hole and not been there before.

Raziel finally managed to absorb the element of air from the forge. Using the plinths to get to the upper levels of the shrine, Raziel was able to glide then scramble to the room that contained the murals that Kain must have been speaking of.

Raziel stared at the murals for several minutes, his brows knit in a frown of concentration. Finally, he turned away and set about the task of reactivating his exit portal. The one that led to the earth shrine seemed to have suffered a similar fate to the one that Raziel had recently used.

* * *

Spoiler note: This chapter really sucks, I probably shouldn't have uploaded it. Actually, I tried to skip these events entirely, but the effect was too jarring. There's got to be some way to make this interesting. 


	12. Twelve

3/12/2005 Disclaimer: I don't own LOK. I own Sarah, but I don't own her dialogue when she's quoting or singing.

Sarah sat on the floor in front of the fireplace. Her eyes, which had previously been marked with red splotches, were now ringed with dark circles. She was huddled in a white blanket. Stacks of paper surrounded Sarah, and she held a soot-based crayon in a pale and trembling hand.

Sarah had fallen ill while at Vorador's mansion. The hedonistic vampire had assumed that her affliction was caused by the stress of living amongst vampires, though he also considered the possibility that something from the swamp was a likely culprit. Either way, Vorador had made arrangements for Sarah to stay with Janos instead.

Janos was reading aloud to Sarah from a book written before the pillars were raised. Even though she was staring fixedly into the fire, Janos knew that she was listening intently. He found that he actually enjoyed Sarah's company. They spent the first half of every evening like this, Janos translating the texts that Sarah couldn't read herself. Though she rarely shared her insights with Janos, but it was amazing what he could learn simply by watching her. It rekindled his hope.

Janos coughed slightly and paused to rest his voice. He was unused to speaking so much. Once, he had gone five years without saying a word. When he finally did speak, Janos was surprised to find that his voice had roughened from disuse and gained a gravelly quality.

In the silence, Sarah began scribbling her notes. Janos noted her body language. The smooth progression of the crayon across the paper suggested that Sarah had already come to a conclusion about what she heard, while the speed suggested that it wasn't vitally important. The sour expression on her face was a little disconcerting.

Janos marked his place and flipped further into the book. It was an account on the history of the war, along with a record God's guidance for those times. "Shall I continue?" Janos asked Sarah.

Sarah tapped the air over her notes with the crayon. "Not right now," she said slowly. She stared at her notes in thought. "What was the name of that one?"

"Ianna's Record, anum 6285" Janos said as he laid the book aside. He picked up the next one and opened it to a random page. Suddenly, Janos jerked his head up and said, "I sense something." He laid his book aside and strode out of the library.

While Janos was gone, Sarah began sketching distractedly. Within moments, a rough sluagh leered out of the paper at her.

Janos' voice echoed down the hall. "She's still not fully recovered, Kain."

Both vampires entered the library. Kain grimaced as he saw Sarah's condition. He had learned about her illness from Vorador, but he hadn't expected her to look so frail.

Kain held the balance emblem so that Sarah could see it. "There is a piece missing. Where is it?"

Sarah's eyes flicked to the artifact. "Moebius has it."

Kain growled. "How am I to get it?"

Sarah gazed distantly into the fire. "He laid it out for you to find." She paused in thought. "It's not a huge concern yet."

Kain noticed how Sarah guarded her words. "Are you hiding something?"

Sarah trembled visibly. "I'm not… I'm not planning on doing that to you."

"Do not be mysterious," Kain warned, his voice blanketed with cool hostility.

"I'm afraid of telling you everything. You might not do what you need to do," Sarah said. Tears of fear flowed freely down her face. "I know you don't want to trust me, but I won't repeat Ariel's cruelty."

Sarah's gaze was locked on the floor. She listened to the gentle sounds of her breath, and wondered why she still had the ability to make them. She risked looking up to see Janos holding Kain's wrist in a firm grip. The two vampires stared at each other. Kain's heavy brows were drawn into a deep scowl while Janos' gaze was merely stern. Kain pointedly yanked his arm out of Janos' grasp and angrily stalked away.

Janos guided Sarah back to her room. She was stumbling down the hallway. Janos would have carried her, except that she weakly tried to bat his talons away. Janos simply walked beside her, ready to lend support if it was needed. Sarah's progress was slow, but Janos was nothing if not patient.

Kain stood brooding on Janos' balcony. His pale hair shone in the moonlight, surrounding him with an ethereal glow.

"Do not be disheartened," Janos said as he approached the scion. "Sarah is elusive with her knowledge, but I believe that she is willing to do the right thing."

Kain scowled. "I am not so swift to trust." He crossed his arms. "I didn't think that she would have the courage to defy me; it's troubling to imagine what she is planning."

"Kain, I do not believe that she intends to be devious," Janos said sagely. "Indeed, I think that she wants to say what she knows, but she seems afraid of the consequences."

Kain's leather gauntlet creaked as he tightened his fist. He silently sifted through his twisted memories, setting aside the dead ones and examining those that were still valid.

Kain blinked in surprise as he realized something. "Janos, what has she told you about your destiny?"

Janos sighed, "Very little, I'm afraid. Mainly that I haven't reached the end of my obligations. I sense that whatever she's hiding from me, she's trying to protect my feelings."

Kain growled. "She will learn that I do not need or want such consideration."

Janos frowned at Kain sternly. "Sarah is delicate, you should treat her as such." His tone softened slightly. "She is doing all that she can; try to remember that."

* * *

Authors Notes: I know, bad me for letting this slip off of the first page. I've been combatting serious writer's block. Then a couple weeks ago, I finally got something good down, but I lost it to my own stupidity. Then real life happened to me, and I didn't have the time, inclination, or patience(to deal with failing equipment) to re-type it. Fortunately, most of this chapter had originated on paper, and I wrecked my wrist and alienatedmy friends in an attempt to get the rest of the chapter onpaper before I forgot it. That,and once the block is broken, it's easier to get to the next iteration, I think this is slightly better than what I lost. I'm just going to paste the responses that I did while I was combatting the stupid block, though I can't remember what I was talking about. 

Raziel has/ dark, light, fire, water, and air; in that order. He couldn't get through the air forge at first because originally kain had gone through all of the shrines roughly 500 years before Raziel, and had knocked a hole in the wall. I purposely kept Raziel out of the earth forge because that part was too confusing to deal with.

As for kain and the center of the balance emblem; yes, in the game it was the first thing he came across. However, it was placed in Kain's path by Mobieus, in a room that iooks like William's chaple. One major disruption that Sarah's presense caused was that Kain wandered around the Stronghold sooner than he did in the game, (it seems that he went somewhere to rest and wait for the mayhem to die down,) and then the Squid didn't tell mobius to bring it out.

Daily life: I guess I should have mentioned that Janos went back home at some point. I think it was right before Vorador confronted Raziel in the dining room. Sarah's not really doing anything interesting. Each morning, one of Vorador's senior wives escorts Sarah to the library so she can do the research that Kain told her to do. I do have something interesting in mind, but it doesn't fit with the current plot and personality.

I also have a scrap that just didn't want to work. (I guess I was going to post it ondeviantart, but Ican't remember which scrap I was talking about.) The rewrite is going to have the same bones as this story. The flesh is going to change mostly based on the suggestions. The skin is going to change quite a bit. With any luck, most of you will be able to read the re-write without getting bored.

Raziel's basic personality hasn't changed that much. The things that caused the Sarafan to be a righteous bastard, and then the vampire to be so loyal, are still an integral part of his personality. Besides, if your Lord and master had done that to you, wouldn't you be parnoid too?

Varyssa, he does inspire you to violence. I knew he is an author, but I guessed that he would be on the bussiness end of one of those weapons rather quickly, so I pretended so I could keep my concience clear. Hi Cpt. K!

Istari, I've decided to cut that line completely, it just sounds too devious for Sarah. She's more of the type that simply doesn't volunteer as much information as she should.

lunatic pandora: yeah, I know it's short. I think I shall have to work on that one again.

Tomlette, thanks for the suggest.

John-Paul, I don't have a buffer for this one. WhenDAS gets delayed, it's because of problems.Glad to hear from one of the invisible ones.

Demino, I haven't forgotten about the Squid or his lacky, but I also don't know when they're going to come in, (other than some things in the far future.)


	13. A long Chat

20050317 Disclaimer: I don't own LOK or anything else that doesn't belong to me. Sarah is mine, but her dialogue might not be. Today's Oingo Boingo song is "JustAnother Day."

Janos had reluctantly invited Kain to rest in his home for the day. For a time, Kain did sleep in one of the spare rooms, but he awoke when he heard Sarah stagger past his door. After spending a sleepless hour in thought, Kain decided that it was time to confront the girl on her repression.

Kain slipped into his pants and buckled on his shoulder harness before walking out into the marbled hallway. He wandered around the aerie long enough to become frustrated before he heard Sarah's singing coming from the suspended galleries at the mountain's interior.

Kain stood on the interior balcony and tried to locate both the girl and the path he would have to take to find her. Her singing echoed off of the high stone walls.

It's just another day, there's murder in the air  
It drags me when I walk, I smell it everywhere  
It's just another day, where people cling to light  
To drive away the fear, that comes with every night

Kain finally saw Sarah sitting on one of the suspended bridges. She was wearing a robe that looked like it had been meant for a winged being. A box of drawing charcoal sat beside her, along with a small stack of paper. She was hunched over the drawing in her lap.

I had a dream last night, the world was set on fire  
And everywhere I ran, there wasn't any water  
The temperature increased, the sky was crimson red  
The clouds turned into smoke, and everyone was dead  
but there's a smile on my face, for everyone  
There's a golden coin, that reflects the sun  
There's a lonely place, that's always cold  
There's a place in the stars for when you get old

Sarah abruptly stopped singing as she noticed Kain. She clasped her charcoal in a worried fist.

"I want answers," Kain said. His voice was firm but soft.

"Is my free will to be exercised only when it accords with your whim?" Sarah asked. She couldn't quite manage the indignant tone that Raziel had used, but the accent was clear.

"Don't," Kain growled warningly.

Sarah laid her drawing at Kain's feet. It was an image of Kain grabbing Raziel by the shoulders.

Kain picked up the drawing and studied it. Raziel seemed to be only half-conscious, and pieces of the background showed through his limp body. The Kain in the drawing had a horrified expression on his face, and he seemed to be yelling something.

"What is the meaning of this?" Kain asked, doubt beginning to tug at his mind.

Sarah kept her head down and spoke quietly, "When you saved Raziel, you saw the price for your actions. You then spent all of your energy trying to stop him from doing the one thing that he really needed to do."

Kain looked at the drawing again and considered the expression on his image's face. "What was the price?"

Sarah was silent for a moment. Kain was about to repeat his question when she said, "I'm not sure why exactly you were so concerned. It was bad, but you had to triumph in the end."

"What happened?" Kain growled, his patience growing thin.

Sarah shook her head. "It doesn't matter. There is enough time to untangle this mess."

Kain roared in anger, "Do you really expect me to trust you with the fate of Nosgoth?"

Sarah cringed in fear, her features twisted into a mask of complete despair. Tears flowed freely even through her closed eyelids. She shook her head; it was a clear reply.

Kain was surprised at Sarah's dualistic mind-set; how she could be aware of Kain's unwillingness to trust her, yet be so blatantly guarded.

"Give me the answers I require," Kain growled through clenched teeth.

Sarah's voice was no more than a whisper. "Please, I need more time. I'll tell you what I can once I decide it's safe."

Kain calmed in temporary resignation "What makes you think that you can be an adequate judge?" He challenged. "Why the sudden confidence in your abilities?"

Fresh wetness clung to Sarah's eyelashes. "The thought of screwing this up terrifies me," she said hauntingly. "I might just end up telling you everything, but for now doing that might make things worse."

While Kain was infuriated by Sarah's attitude, he could also see the wisdom in her hesitation. He decided to let the matter rest for the moment.

"I'm going to retrieve the last fragment of the balance emblem," Kain announced. "Do you have any insight on how I'm supposed to get it?"

Sarah shrugged. "You probably know Moebutt better than I do."

Kain wondered at how easily Sarah had insulted the time streamer. She didn't even seem to notice that she did it. "Indulge me. You may know something about him that I do not."

"Moebius is a puppet, haven't you figured that out yet?" Sarah asked. She was throwing Kain's words back at him, but they lacked the proper fire.

"What would you suggest?" Kain asked.

"I remember that Janos told you to go into the oracle chamber. There's nothing that you need to see in there." Sarah said.

"Why, then, do I have the means to unseal it?" Kain asked.

"That one's a bit complicated," Sarah said. "Your arrival is foretold, the fates have willed it." She frowned in thought for several moments. "He's just trying to trick you into getting yourself killed." Sarah cringed as she realized what she had just said.

Fortunately, Kain was now in a generous mood; he would allow Sarah time to explain herself. "Killed?" Kain growled. "I haven't come this far to end up dead."

Sarah flinched. "I realize that." She stared at the scenery around her, as if the answers were simply hovering in the air like lost souls. "You'll survive this."

Kain noticed the lack of conviction in Sarah's voice. "Raziel has the only weapon that can kill me."

"I know," Sarah said. She tangled her fingers in her hair and bit her lip. "You know Raziel; you're going to have to decide what you're going to do. I wouldn't recommend confronting him when he's pissed off."

"That might be unavoidable," Kain said.

"He might decide to attack you, but he won't hurt Janos," Sarah assured Kain.

Kain turned and walked away from his reluctant advisor. There was much that he had to think about. Kain was begging to think that all of his carefully laid plans would unravel right before his eyes if he did not do something to regain control of the situation.

* * *

Author's Notes: This one was a mess; I want to upload the creation document somewhere so people could see it. I'm still not happy with this... I really wanted to use the "Well, they're certainly trying to eliminate _you_, Kain, there can be no doubt of that. I am assaulted relentlessly with demands for your demise," line. Oh well, there's always later. 

Tomlette: Real life doth happen. :q I was thinking that Sarah ranks below Kain and Raziel in importance, which is why I was concentrating on them for a while. Then again, with all the fics here, the OC in Nosgoth scenario is starting to become more... (I dunno, I'm helpless without a thesaurus.)

John-Paul: I thought hotmail was email? Oh well. If you're reading any other fics here, you might want to introduce yourself to their authors as well. Join the community. 

Lunatic Pandora1: Yeah, short ones happen. I might try to re-chapter this on the rewrite so it's more balanced. Razzy Plush was so much easier in that regard. As you see, Sarah doesn't consider the device important right now. Who knows what the future may hold? (I don't)

Varyssa: I think I said it once, I'll say it again... Dear Squid! What have I done? Btw, you showed up on the Eidos forums, but then you dissapeared again. Why didn't you stick around? 


	14. Which one?

4/6/05 Disclaimer: LOK belongs to Eidos. Sarah is an original character, but her dialogue is canned.

Sarah shuddered as she passed one of the blood basins that were scattered through the aerie. Janos had told her it wasn't real blood, the water's red taint was a side effect of the spell that prevented it from burning vampire skin. Sarah still thought it looked gross; she was glad that time had cleared both the lake and the small spring that provided her drinking water.

Sarah filled a bucket from the lake-fed pool at the base of the aerie. She desperately wanted a hot shower, but that was impossible here. The best she could manage was to haul a small amount of water back to her quarters and heat it over the fire. Sarah was lucky that the aerie had been built at a time when Janos' people had use for a lavatory

Sarah dropped her bucket as a pair of eyes appeared in the shadowed depths of the pool. She let off a loud shriek of fright and ran back through the aerie.

When she emerged into the mountain's interior, Janos landed in front of her. Sarah tripped and slid down the ramp.

"What is the matter, child?" Janos asked.

Sarah slowly levered herself off the floor while her rational mind caught up with her. "Raziel snuck up on me," she quavered.

Raziel drifted in the pool and stared at the bucket floating on the surface above him. He was more insulted than hurt at having it land on his head. He swam back up and clambered out of the pool.

By the time Raziel had reached the interior of the Aerie, Sarah had already made her way into the suspended labyrinth. Janos was still standing at the base of the ramp.

"Raziel, it is good to see you." Janos noticed Raziel's gaze and said, "You gave her quite a fright."

"I hate to admit it, but she surprised me as well," Raziel commented dryly.

"How did you manage to get in here again?" Janos asked. "Is there another hole in the defenses?"

"The tunnel is still blocked. No one will be able to follow my path," Raziel affirmed. He paused a moment, and his tone became serious. "Janos, how can you be sure that I really am who you think I am?"

"You were the one who came for the Reaver," Janos asserted calmly.

Raziel shook his head. "I only came here for answers."

"You are the prophesized hero," Janos insisted. "The signs point to you."

"Who is the other one, then?" Raziel asked. "There are murals that depict two heroes."

"I do not know how to identify it," Janos said, his antipathy towards the Hylden sharpened his accent.

Raziel turned towards the suspended labyrinth. Sarah was standing in one of the galleries and watching the two vampires.

"What do you know about this?" Raziel called to her.

Sarah clutched her ill-fitting robes closer to her suddenly trembling body. Her eye grew wide with fear. With a small whimper, Sarah scurried away.

Janos laid a talon on Raziel's shoulder. The ancient vampire sensed that Raziel was about to do something impetuous. "Give her a few minutes. She rarely gives any information without considering it first." Janos paused to give Raziel a scrutinizing stare. "It's disconcerting that she would need to think about her answer."

Raziel shrugged off Janos' talon. "Her reluctance makes me think that you're wrong about me."

A short while later, Sarah, Janos, Raziel, and Kain were all gathered in the library.

Sarah had several of her drawings scattered over the floor. Some of them were copies of murals, while others depicted events in Kain and Raziel's quests. It was Janos who had secured Sarah's assurance of cooperation.

Raziel pointed to one of the drawings. It was a copy of the two heroes mural; the one where neither was being impaled. "What does this mean?" He asked Sarah.

"It's confusing," Sarah sighed.

"Answer me," Raziel demanded. When Sarah paused in thought, he added, "You had better not be concocting a lie."

Sarah shook her head. "That wouldn't do me any good."

"Nor will your silence," Kain reminded her sternly. "Why can't you explain this?"

"I know what happened more than I know why," Sarah said wistfully. "Redeemer and Destroyer. Are you the catalyst to these events, or the answer to them?"

"What is the correct answer?" Raziel asked, remembering that he had believed it was, 'neither.'

"It's confusing," Sarah repeated.

Janos picked up one of the drawings and frowned. The image depicted the incident in William's chapel; Raziel had the Reaver raised above his head, about to bring it down on Kain, who laid against the crypt in fatalistic submission. Janos' talons drifted to the band around his neck.

Sarah noticed Janos' distracted movement and mumbled, "Not yet."

"The answers lie in our innermost sanctum," Janos insisted.

Sarah rooted through her drawings and produced a sheet that contained the diagram for the underground base of the pillars. "Which elements can you summon?" she asked Raziel.

"Light and Darkness, Fire, Water, and Air," Raziel answered.

Sarah had counted the elements off on her fingers. "You still need Earth; that's in Avernus." She paused in thought for a long moment. "You also need to find Turel."

"Turel is in the future," Raziel reminded Sarah. His voice was laced with bitterness towards his one remaining sibling.

"You found him in Avernus," Sarah insisted.

"How did that happen?" Kain asked in surprise.

"I'm not sure," Sarah remarked. She quoted Ariel, "Azimuth, not content with summoning demonic thralls, stole the Time Streaming Device in order to gather creatures from other ages as well."

"Azimuth is just a child now," Kain pointed out.

"Turel is in the future," Sarah conceded. "That is, if Azimuth's really to blame."

"You still haven't answered my question," Raziel pointed out. "Which hero am I, and who is the other one?"

"Have you realized yet that it didn't matter to us which one either of you thought you were, so long as the result was the same in the end?" Sarah's shudder broke the gloating tones of Moebius.

"This is not a game!" Raziel yelled. "How can you know so much, yet not be able to answer a simple question?"

Sarah stepped back in fear. She was so concerned with Raziel's anger that she bumped into Janos. The ancient vampire steadied the frightened girl and enfolded her with an ebony wing.

Janos spoke softly and soothingly. "Whatever you answer, no harm will come to you."

Sarah's reply was muffled, but Janos nodded in acceptance. He drew his wing back to reveal that Sarah was slumped against his chest in exhaustion. Tears trickled in a familiar path down her face. Janos lifted her limp form easily.

"What did she say?" Raziel questioned.

"The one unbound creature," Janos repeated in confusion.

A/N: I had real trouble trying to get all four of them into the same room, but I wanted them all on the same page about some things. I realize that I left the actual gathering up to your imaginations, but I couldn't figure out how to get it to flow right.

For some reason, I couldn't get Sarah to say, "There is no other champion; it's just Raziel screwing up in their favor." I think she was scared; that or she has another issue about it.

I know that Sarah's quotes have the potential to get tiresome; they'll drop out of importance before the vampires decide to throttle her. On a related note, is she singing too much?

Rikku142: She's going to continue quoting, I'm afraid. I hope that now it's changed into a counterpoint for her thoughts, you can at least tolerate it.

Tomlette: You are reading my mind on this... that or I'm taking the most predictable pattern.

John-Paul: Who do I like better? Do some research and then take a wild guess. Yeah, I've noticed the similarities... it goes far beyond physical appearance, really.

Lunatic Pandora1: Where am I going to go next, then? Perhaps you could tell me how to beat my next block before I encounter it? Sarah's being uncooperative. I think at this point, I'm expecting her to suddenly drop dead from fright just so that she doesn't have to take any more angst from me.

Oh yeah, apologies on letting this drop off the page again. Blocks and Real Life...


	15. Fifteen

When Raziel entered the library, Sarah was sitting in the dim light. Her eyes tracked Raziel's movements, but otherwise she didn't acknowledge him. 

"Are you finally ready to tell me something?" Raziel asked. Janos had told him about Sarah's message, that she had requested a meeting for this purpose.

Sarah distractedly ran her finger along the edge of a box. It contained chunks of rock; rubble gathered after Janos had re-sealed the hole that Raziel blew in the side of the mountain. "I do have some things to tell you, but…"

Raziel slowly walked further into the room until he was across the table from Sarah. He didn't like the way her sentence just seemed to hang in the air while she hesitated.

"There are some things you should remember," Sarah admitted. "The first is that just because someone says something, that doesn't mean it's true."

"Are you intending to lie to me?" Raziel asked suspiciously.

"Not intentionally," Sarah amended quickly. "Sometimes people are sure that they know the truth, but they're really wrong. That's what makes this so hard to figure out."

"I suppose that is why you're unwilling to tell me anything?" Raziel asked in irritation.

Sarah bobbed her head. "I don't want to unintentionally give you false information."

Raziel deliberately laid his claws on the edge of the table and said, "I will decide what I'm willing to believe."

"Believe this," Sarah said. She licked her lips nervously, expecting that Raziel might not accept her next sentence. "Kain wants you to be free."

A moment went by. Raziel stood motionless with his claws braced against the table. His expression was unreadable. Raziel straightened slowly, but said nothing.

"And he needs to be kept alive," Sarah added hesitantly.

"Is it not our destiny to fight to the death?" Raziel spoke casually, as if he was asking about something far more trivial.

Sarah was silent. Several answers died before they left her lips. Finally, she said, "I don't know. I don't think you have to."

Raziel growled in irritation. He would have thought that Sarah was lying when she said that she knew things that she shouldn't, except that she had already proven that she at least knew some of it.

The drawings that Sarah had laid out earlier that day were now piled haphazardly at one end of the table. Raziel carefully began sorting through them. He found what he was looking for, all three variations of the two champions mural. Raziel laid them out on the table so that he could gaze at them.

Sarah laid her hand on her box of rocks and reminded Raziel, "Just because someone says something…"

Raziel mutely acknowledged Sarah's reminder.

Sarah took a stone out of the box and said, "Before the pillars fell, Ariel accused you of working for her murderer." She laid the stone carefully on the table and took another. "Mortainious told you that you were too late." Sarah laid that stone next to the first and fished a large chunk out of the box. "Janos believes in you." Sarah stood with the rock firmly clenched in her fist. She seemed like she was about to add something, but she instead laid it off to the side from the others.

Raziel realized that the rocks were a way for Sarah to keep her thoughts organized. He assumed that one pile represented those that insisted that he was the messiah of the vampire race, while the other pile meant that he belonged to the enemy.

"Moebius admitted that he didn't care," Sarah said, starting a third pile. "Your benefactor…" Sarah timidly dropped the stone in the Hylden pile. "Was trying to piss you off."

Raziel raised his eyebrows in mild surprise. He wasn't sure which part of that he wasn't expecting, but it made sense once he thought about it.

"I agree with Vorador," Sarah said, laying the final stone in the ambiguous pile. "You could be either. You're probably supposed to be both, but I think it's possible to fail."

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" Raziel questioned.

Sarah's faltering pattern returned. "I needed some more time to think about it. Besides, Kain, he really shouldn't have this distorting his decisions."

"What about my decisions?" Raziel asked.

"They were meant to be distorted," Sarah said, gesturing to her piles. "There's a mural in Avernus that was painted by the…" again, their name died in Sarah's throat as she remembered the taboo on speaking it. She muttered the end of her thought. "It bears a passing resemblance."

Raziel stared one final time at the drawings he had picked out. He admitted that he did feel confused by this exchange, but somehow it was comforting to realize it.

He reflected another type of confusion that had led him to believe that he had been noble and just in his mortal life. Raziel discovered that it was a good thing to know when you were lost. He still wasn't willing to blindly accept anyone's guidance, but Sarah's had been so ambiguous that it he could follow it yet still come to his own conclusions.

* * *

Rikku: Sarah's singing is more a nervous habit borne of getting the songs stuck in her head, but it's nice to know that her anxiety wouldn't neccesarily stop her.

Kaya: Hiya. You've said so much. I'm going to respond to your begging for me to do "hidden sanctuary" some more... I imagine that I'd re-write that eventually, except that it's buried under a ton of other projects. I'll see what I can do.

John-Paul: Um, actually it's Raziel. (ducks) I haven't drawn Kain yet, and he was only an occasional character in "Razzy Plush."

Lunatic Pandora: Well, Kain got there in chapter 12 I believe. He said that he was going to leave, but he didn't get around to it by the time Raziel got there. I think that Kain realized that Raziel was on his way. (Never occured to me that Kain isn't supposed to know that simply because I knew that.)

Okay, here's a note: Chapter 12 and 13 are going to get amalgamated so that Raziel is there before Kain hears Sarah's reasons for not telling him things. Some things will be lost, but it should fill that Plot Hole.

Another big important note: The only reason that Sarah got raped was because I wanted to have a descendant running around. I was going to keep him in the rough version even though he wasn't going to be in the rewrite. Raziel does still torture Sarah and whip her, but that's all. The reason that I'm removing the descendant now is because I realized I have trouble dealing with time like that.

Raziel going through the forges might have taken three days to a week at most. I couldn't figure out how to keep him busy for four months so that he could notice Sarah getting fat and then have her be positive enough about her condition to admit it. And then there was dealing with the remaining five months.

You'll notice that the game deals in indefinate periods that are never shorter than a year, and more often it's more like decades and centuries if not longer stretches. My periods of time may be shorter, but it's more like being unable to tell exactly how much time has passed until I suddenly decide that it needs to be a certain season.


	16. Death

A/N: I'm sorry to do this to you, you're all wonderful. It's just that DAS has been the source of my uncoquerable block. (It's still there after my real life problems have lessened, so I'm blaming the story.) I tried launching into the rewrite, but I was just making the problem worse. I wrote down the entire plan a couple days ago, now I'm going to bury the entire thing in peat moss and start fresh once I've had a chance for the shit to settle to the bottom.

Don't expect to see this again for several months. If you like the current version, save it to your hard drives because I will pull it down once I restart.

The blocked version of chapter 16 is in my deviantart scraps as number 19029097 . My attempt at a rewrite is number 19028292 . There's also other old peices of the story in there as well.

* * *

It was dark when Raziel returned to the Aerie several days later. Janos must have been out hunting, as he was not to be found.

Raziel strolled through the retreat until he found Sarah in the library. She was huddled in a blanket in front of the fire.

"I've been to Avernus, and I saw the mural that you mentioned," Raziel said as a way of announcing his presence.

Sarah inclined her head towards Raziel, but said nothing as he crouched next to her by the fire.

"I also saw another mural while I was there," Raziel continued. "According to it, the ancient vampires were the ones who started the war."

Sarah stared mutely at Raziel. No hatred showed in her eyes, only a patient attentiveness.

"If I could truly choose which side to be on, which one is right?" Raziel finally asked.

"The ancient vampires were squid-worshippers that started a war that raged for thousands of years just because another race didn't share their beliefs." Sarah said dully.

"Then it is the other race that is right?" Raziel asked.

"They were building a genocide machine when they were banished," Sarah frowned. "They'll finish it if they manage to get out."

"Neither seems very appealing," Raziel commented dryly.

"Your allegiances seem to shift as you gain new information," Sarah said mysteriously. "Your loyalty is always to yourself."

Raziel turned stared at Sarah and suddenly noticed a flush in her cheeks. He realized that he had mistaken quiet attentiveness for an empty gaze. She blinked dully and fell into a swoon.

Raziel caught her to keep Sarah's head from hitting the floor. He was surprised at how warm she felt.

"I'll be fine," Sarah deliriously muttered as she pressed her forehead against Raziel's cool arm.

When Janos returned, he was carrying a small parcel of herbs to reduce Sarah's fever. "Sarah told me that she only had a cold, but I decided that she needed treatment," Janos explained to Raziel. "I had to pin that poor healer against a wall just to explain Sarah's symptoms to him."

A day passed, and Sarah's condition worsened considerably.

"What could be causing this?" Raziel asked as he wet Sarah's forehead with a damp cloth.

"What do you care?" Sarah asked weakly.

Raziel pulled his eyebrows together in a frown. "I'm relying on your damn secrets being the key to thwarting my destiny."

"My secrets won't die with me," Sarah murmured sadly. "I must warn you that I still think it's dangerous for you to know everything, but I wrote it all down."

"Where are they?" Raziel asked.

"Janos knows where they are," Sarah assured. "I told him that he must never look at them."

Raziel re-wet the cloth. When he turned back to Sarah, she had her eyes squeezed shut as if in pain.

"I want to go home. I don't want to die here," Sarah sobbed. "I want to believe that he isn't there, that the god of the underworld isn't hungry."

Raziel sighed in sympathy. Most mortals did not have the certainty of knowing where they were going. He knew that he could offer no comfort to Sarah; any assurance would be a lie, and they both would know it.

"How do you know about that parasite?" Raziel questioned.

"I know your story from the time you first met it," Sarah whispered.

When Sarah's fever spiked, it became clear that she would not recover. She gibbered in her sleep, and cried out wishes against being eaten.

"Janos, don't let her die," Raziel said.

"You know what you are asking," Janos argued sternly.

"I'd do it myself if I still could," Raziel said. "I believe that she is still important."

"I will not damn her," Janos insisted.

"She's afraid of death," Raziel insisted. "Your wheel is nothing more than a ravenous parasite. There's no mercy in letting Sarah die."

Janos trembled. He trusted Raziel as a savior and messiah, how could he say such things about the one?

After a long silence, Janos murmured, "It must be her choice."

Janos lifted Sarah from her blankets. She reactively clutched at his robes, too feverish to fully comprehend the movement. Janos laid Sarah on the cold floor and within moments she began to shiver violently. It was then that she opened her eyes.

"You are going to die soon," Janos told Sarah gently. "Are you willing to live as a vampire?"

With the temporary reprieve from the fever, Sarah was lucid. Through painfully chattering teeth she hissed, "Please."

Janos scooped Sarah up off the floor and held her close in an effort to restore some of her lost body heat. She spasmed weakly, Sarah's body was already beginning to shut down.

Janos slit his wrist and forced it against Sarah's mouth. He then began muttering the spell that would turn her away from the light. Sarah's body twitched. She was still alive, but too exhausted from her illness to feel the agony of the change. Janos feared that she was incapable of surviving.

Sarah did not wake over the next several days, but her features slowly sharpened into those characteristic of a vampire. Every evening, Janos would siphon off some of her blood and replace it with his own. It worried him that she was still unconscious, though it was a mercy because otherwise she would be in pain.


End file.
